Tuesday, September 9, 2008

My Take: Pursuing God by Alaine Garza

Cat and Mouse... Hide and Seek... not that God pursuing us is in any way a game but this could be a very real image.

I was excited to write about this topic of God pursuing us and vice versa as this is truly my life as it is now. I'm not a scholar with a lot of Scripture to throw out although there is NO doubt in my mind that each word written in our Holy Bible is TRUTH and yes there are times I may not like the Truth. His Bible puts out there for us our map to living our lives on this earth as believers and followers of our Lord.

A very wise person told me recently as I struggled with "feeling" a true one-on-one relationship with HIM that it is OK to put the Bible aside and talk to Him. That relieved so much pressure for me at this point in my life because as I heard Him call to me in different ways I right away would pick up the Word to seek the answers but yet not feel a connection. She encouraged me to talk to Him as the best friend, adviser, encourager, and at times one I was angry with just like a person sitting across the table from me.

You see, God was not introduced as such to me in my life. I was raised attending Catholic School, church every Sunday and gosh darn it making sure confession was done (in the booth) every six weeks. As a teenager, Young Life was the "place" but it did allow me to enjoy worship in a very different way than I had ever been introduced to and to see Jesus Christ as not just the "person" on the cross but one who desired my heart. On a great skiing trip I did accept Jesus as my savior and for whatever reason Satan took me on a path that had me going as far away from Him (I thought) as possible.

I converted to Judaism and as He knocked on my door I just thought, instead of listening, I will be the best "Jew" I could be. Pack up those bags of flour food on Passover...have my kids celebrate Hanukkah, Purim and all the other holidays I could have them do because as the tears would for some reason still come on Christmas Eve....or Easter...I would find joy in the other holidays. Yes there was joy but still an emptiness and I was doing all the right Jewish traditions. Please don't take this as any offense to anyone of Jewish faith but see I had asked God as my Savior and then was denying Him the access.

Yet he pursued and I answered His call again to seek Him. I started back to church but that didn't make life stop having difficulties. But this is where I realized that God doesn't want us to just "do." He wants us to live in a relationship with Him.

10 years and many struggles and tears later, I see that God doesn't want us to "be"... He wants us to live.... He wants us to pursue Him as though He is our life source of EVERYTHING!! He is our first cup of water each day, our first source of light, and yet even if we think Starbucks may sound better that morning instead of THE WATER, He will let you know in His ways that He's OK with Starbucks, just have Him first!!

There are days that struggles ensue but I know that as we pursue each other my God and I will have joy even in the dark times and that is something I will never stop seeking.

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